I met Caroline through our mutual friend Xandra when I took the photos for their podcast, Fabulositea. We instantly hit it off and became fast friends. Caz’s love of Old Hollywood, sunshine, and sparkle infuses everything she does. I really admire her dedication to fun and her ability to make every day feel like a holiday. Keep an eye out for her new project, The Girl With the Sunshine Tattoo, launching in just over a week. She’ll be sharing all about her adventures in London and how to add a little extra sunshine to your life.

Are you a fan of the TV show ‘Parks and Rec?’ (If not, you certainly should be! Chris Pratt, Amy Poehler and a tiny horse called Lil’ Sebastian… what’s not to love?) If so, you’ll probably remember one of my favourite episodes: once a year, two of the characters celebrate ‘Treat Yoself’ Day. They spend 24 hours treating themselves to “clothes! Fragrances! Massages! Mimosas! Fine leather goods!” It’s “the best day of the year!”

I believe that the “Treat Yoself” philosophy is one we can all use a little bit more of in our lives – and not just for one day. There are literally hundreds of voices every day telling us that we’re not good enough; that we haven’tearned a treat. That we’re not thin enough to eat that mouth-watering chocolate cake, not beautiful enough to buy – and pull off – a bright red lipstick, not hard-working enough to spend an afternoon lazing in the sunshine.

I say, to heck with it! Yes, I agree with Louis C.K: “Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’” We’re all flawed, fallible creatures who frequently screw up, for sure. But I also believe that life is way too short to waste precious time on self-deprivation or punishment.

For me, self-love means light-heartedness. It means moving on from mistakes and refusing to feel guilty about indulging in frivolity, fun, and things that make you feel good: whether that’s as simple as a post-work glass of prosecco with a friend, or as spontaneous as a last-minute flight somewhere sunny for the weekend. It means taking a break from taking life, its demands and yourself too seriously. It means acknowledging the occasional cloudy day, but whole-heartedly embracing the sunshine when it comes.

As always, Frank Sinatra said it best, when he gently reprimanded George Michael for complaining about howhard life as a pop megastar could be: “Come on, George. Loosen up. Swing, man. Dust off those gossamer wings and fly yourself to the moon of your choice.” Let’s drink to that, darlings!

And here are a few ways to add some extra sunshine to your everyday:

• Affirmations are wonderful, but lots of people feel a bit silly locking eyes with themselves in the mirror and chanting ego-boosting mantras! Instead, pick an upbeat song with some super-confident lyrics and sing along at the top of your lungs – self-love without self-consciousness! My pick at the moment? Bruno Mars’ ‘Uptown Funk': “I’m too hot, hot damn – call the police and the fireman!”
• It’s so easy to fret over negative feedback and forget some of the lovely things people say about you: I fight this by jotting down kind compliments I receive from workmates, friends and strangers in my journal. It makes me smile to flick back through the pages and remember people’s positive words, especially when I’m feeling not-quite-good-enough!
• Sign up for Sarah’s ‘Romance Yourself’ e-course: there’s nothing like a daily delivery of positivity and praise to kick off your morning!

Caroline is launching The Girl With The Sunshine Tattoo on 20^th June. This sparkly corner of the Internet will document her attempts to seek out sunshine-y experiences in London. She spends too much time at bottomless boozy Sunday brunches and rooftop bars. 

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Cassy is a fellow blogcadette and I’ve been lucky enough to chat with her at two blogger events. Her website, CassyFry.com, celebrates every facet of creativity and her positivity and passion for the arts is infectious. I know you’re going to love her insights on how to use creativity to amp up your self-love!

Creativity has saved me from myself countless times.

As soon as I learnt to read, I used books to escape reality, to discover new worlds and connect with other people (even if fictional). Then I started to write angsty poetry, listen to songs to transform my mood and fell in love with the thrill of throwing myself around to live music.

In bad times, the art I put on my walls and the tear-stained journals I scrawled were a reflection of my fears, insecurities and depression. My identity became tangled up with low self-esteem. There was a part of me that thought my darker side was what made me interesting, but it paralysed my own creativity.

There are many myths about creativity, but one that springs to mind is that of the tortured artist, that suffering produces the best art. Happy people have no stories, right?

Suffering has provided inspiration for many beautiful works of art, epic novels and moving music, because it is a part of the human experience.

Life’s challenges inspire me, but I couldn’t create or communicate them in any meaningful way without self love. Those tear-stained journals are a confusing mess, but my memories of those times will continue to influence me.

My discovery of self love and my own creativity happened simultaneously. They continue to fuel each other.

Being creative, whether that is colouring, crafting or writing, has given me distraction from problems when I needed it, but also space to reflect on them.

What you consume or create shapes your existence, and you can use it to reinforce good or bad feelings. I’m not suggesting a creative equivalent of clean eats. I’ll never give up dark angsty music, bleak books or theatre that makes me cry.

For me, self love is about understanding and treasuring yourself as you are. Balancing your light and dark sides. Knowing what will make you happy, when you need to be challenged, what will help you and what will hold you back.

You won’t always have the answer straight away. You need to practise self love daily to keep understanding and embracing all that you are. Being creative can help, plus it makes it fun too!

Here are some creative self-love actions you can try:

• Keep an art journal rather an a rant-y diary, list, draw or write the happy things – compliments, memories and hopes, mix in beautifully illustrated bittersweet quotes to taste.
• Connect with other creative people, share your work, knowledge and enthusiasm. Join a local group or find people on line (you could join my DIY Creative Club!).
• Have a ‘go and see’, take a break and open yourself up to new perspectives and experiences – visit an exhibition, go to an arthouse cinema, dance to live punk rock music or take part in an immersive theatre performance.
• Woo yourself by writing a love poem or song to yourself (this can be hard, but it will make you feel amazing, I promise!)

Cassy Fry is writer, stylish lady and cat lover. She is passionate about encouraging and connecting creative people. She shares inspiration and cheerleads for creativity in its many forms on her blog cassyfry.com and through the DIY Creative Club.

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Uncustomary has been a long-time supporter of The Laughing Medusa and I’m so glad that her comments led me to discover her inspiring blog. She’s a tireless champion for self-love and technicoloured living and today she’s going to share a powerful tool that you can use to kickstart your self-love journey right away.

Self-love is something that changed my life. It started off with life appreciation, by making my gratitude for the things I get to experience known, even if it was just in my head. I started keeping a Happy Journal, where I documented at least three things every day that were good. Slowly, it became easier and easier to list dozens of things every day. The more I said out loud, even to myself, what beauty I was seeing, the easier it was to find more and more of it!

Eventually, the concept of self-love unraveled in a lot of ways, before I even recognized the term itself. I started keeping a blog, reminding myself that what I had to say mattered, even if no one else was reading (yet). I sought out help for my mental illnesses, and did some pretty intense work on myself. I accepted the way my body grew and changed as a result from taking medications, and realized that I was so much more than my size or cellulite. I exited toxic relationships and quit my job to start something that really mattered to me, even if I was sacrificing financial stability and an easily acceptable answer to that “So what do you do?” question.

As I dove deeper into the blog world, Self-Love became a conscious effort. Today, self-love means that I never don’t do something just because I’m worried about how I look. It means that I continue celebrating the life I already have, documenting the small (and huge!) pleasures I get to have every single day. It means reminding my friends, my readers, and strangers on the street that they are beautiful. It means believing in myself enough that I can go out there and live life how I want to without worrying about being judged, even though I know it’s going to happen. It means looking to myself for motivation and inspiration instead of outside sources. The power is inside me, and I need to tap into it before reaching outward.

So how can you recognize the power and sparkle in yourself? My first piece of advice to you is to make an effort to appreciate life and make your gratitude known. An easy way to do this is with a happy journal!

• Choose a system for yourself, be it digital or in a paper notebook.
• Create a routine, and keep it strong for two weeks to really get into a routine!
• Brainstorm good things and feel free to include everything.
• Write in a format that appeals to you, be it list, paragraph, or with the accompaniment of drawings.
• Establish a minimum effort, as in your goal of how many things to write each day.
• Get your juices flowing with a general list. Write down as many things you can think of that make you happy, and see how things get moving!

I promise that once you start appreciating the things around you, it will become easier to include yourself on that list, you beautiful creature, you.

Uncustomary spreads love and positivity through street art, snail mail, and the message of self-love. She wants you to believe in who you are even (especially) if who you are is super weird. You can find her leaving a literal trail of glitter behind her in Baltimore.

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