The Teeny Wedding Chronicles: 5Ws.

On the day we got engaged, Matthew and I had known each other for exactly nine months and two weeks.

We’ll have been engaged for four months and one day when we get married.

Maybe that seems fast. It’s a timeline I never would have imagined for myself. In my more anti-establishment days, I wasn’t sure marriage would ever be for me. But as my feelings about these things changed I at least thought I knew how it would go. I’d meet a guy and fall in love. We’d date for a couple of years and then we’d move in together. A couple of years after that we’d get engaged and a year or so later we’d get married. One or maybe two or three years into being married we’d have our first baby. Somewhere along the line we might buy a house.

It’s all incredibly formulaic, isn’t it? And even though I’m old enough now to know that life doesn’t follow the formulas we want it to, I still felt confident that I’d never “rush” into anything. Because time equals certainty, doesn’t it?

But maybe it doesn’t.

I’m not very good at making decisions. I can agonise over which brand of loo roll to buy or what to order at a restaurant. But somehow, I have a deep inner knowing that this is the right thing for us. I’ve never been as certain about anything as I am about Matthew.

We already knew that we wanted to spend our lives together by the time we got engaged but the event still took us by surprise. It was a couple of days before we settled into the decision, before it sank in and really felt real. And then there was lots of excited chatter about where we were going to live and what the actual wedding was going to look like.

We’ve now moved into our own cosy flat in East London but the chatter hasn’t stopped. Planning a wedding can be intense!

I was so glad to hear that many of you are keen to see little glimpses of our wedding planning process. Last week marked two months until the big day, so I thought I’d share the who, what, where, and when of our wedding planning process so far (because I think the above covers the why).

Who
At first, we both felt a bit nervous about telling our friends and family that we’d gotten engaged. We weren’t sure how everyone would react, especially our parents. At that point I hadn’t met Matthew’s yet and he still hasn’t met mine.

We felt certain that we’d be met with advice to slow down but we decided to keep in mind that the most important thing was to remember how we feel about each other and our marriage. There was a certain level of cautious excitement but as soon as everyone got used to the idea we were met with enthusiasm and support from almost everyone we told, which was a really wonderful feeling.

We knew from the start that we’d be having a pretty teeny tiny wedding. Our guest list came in at under 30 people and because of the short notice, some of my friends and family from Canada won’t be able to attend, so we’ll be having a party there when we visit this summer.

We sent out our invites at the end of March and I absolutely love the watercolour designs we chose from Zazzle.

Of course it’s difficult knowing that many people we love won’t be able to be there. And the problem inherent to planning a teeny wedding is that you can’t invite everyone. The number of guests we can have is severely restricted by the small ceremony room we booked. The last thing we want is to hurt someone’s feelings or make them think we don’t care about them because they weren’t invited. I liked this article on Offbeat Bride about kind yet direct ways to tell people they aren’t invited to your wedding (because some people will ask, or just assume). Ultimately it’s important to remember that this day is for us and it’s okay for us to plan it the way we want, regardless of other people’s expectations.

What
Having a day that feels like us is way more important than following a bunch of traditions that a wedding is supposed to have. I know lots of people struggle with feeling like their wedding is more a day for everyone else than it is for them but we’ve been really lucky. Our families definitely want to be involved and help us along, but no one is trying to insist that we do things a certain way. Instead we’re picking and choosing, keeping traditions that make sense to us and ditching those that don’t. To be honest, I haven’t been to a traditional wedding and I’ve never been the type to dream about my own and I think that’s helped a lot in not getting caught up in what we “should” be doing.

Where
We’re having a registry office ceremony in the morning and in the late afternoon we’ll have a reception in our back garden for a few hours. I love the idea of a laid back celebration with great people and great food. This will be the first time our families will have met, so an intimate gathering of our loved ones seems like the perfect way for everyone to start getting to know each other. In the evening we’ll be heading to a schmancy hotel that was booked for us as a generous wedding gift.

When
Our wedding is on the 6th of June, which seems to be approaching at a mile a minute! A lot of logistical considerations led us to decide to have such a short engagement, but I’m quite glad they did. I think whatever time frame you have, you’ll manage to fill it with planning.

Even though we’re having a teeny tiny wedding, the logistics of planning it are still all-consuming. I’m glad to only have a few months of that, even if it means we’re limited in some of the decisions we can make.

In a way it feels like all of the major details are booked and decided, and in another it feels like there are still a million things that need to fall into place. Like anything, I’m sure it will all come together in time.

If you’ve planned a wedding on a short time frame, do you have any tips for us? Or if you’re curious about the process, is there anything you’d like me to write about?

Love, rainbow cakes, and & twinkle lights,