I’d never tell you to ignore your feelings or not to give yourself space to grieve and heal when you really need to. But when external forces try to knock us down, we do have a choice over how we react. A bad mood never makes anything better, so if you’re ready to turn a crummy day around, these steps will help you do it.

Feel it.
Set a timer and give yourself 5 minutes to fully and completely immerse yourself in your feelings. Scream, cry, or roll around on the floor – whatever you need to do to express what’s going on inside. But when the timer goes off, pick yourself up and brush yourself off.

Hit reset.
If you can, get back into your pyjamas and crawl into bed. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and then leap out of bed with as much energy and enthusiasm as you can muster.If you can’t get back into bed, just close your eyes and focus on centering yourself. Symbolically decide to start over.

Play the glad game.
Force yourself to think of five things about that this day that are worth being grateful. Write them down or say that out loud to really let them sink in, and don’t let yourself stop until you’ve finished your list. Whenever something nice happens throughout the day, take note of it. Think of ways to actively expand your list. Wear a sparkly hair clip. Order a decadent coffee. Read a chapter of your favourite book. Plan yourself a nice dinner. Instead of getting bogged down in the shortfalls, see what loveliness you can add into your day.

Reflect.
Sit in silence for a few minutes or free write in your journal. Ponder what might be making you feel this way. Is there a worry you’re not acknowledging? Does something feel out of integrity? If you find some answers ask yourself if there’s something you can do to better the situation. If so, do it. If not, move on to the next step.

Drop it like it’s hot.
When you notice a negative thought entering your mind, simply notice it and then let it go. The simplest way I know to do this is to focus on your breath or to shift your mind to a positive thought. Recognize that we have power over what we think and that by not holding on so tightly, we don’t need to get bogged down in them.

Shake it off.
We hold our emotions in our body and movement can be a powerful way to work through them. Go into the bathroom or another private space and close the door. Rock your head quickly from side to side. Shake your arms and then your legs. Swing your torso in wide circles. Jump up and down. Increase the intensity of the movement until your whole body is moving and shaking. Keep this up for at least a minute as you shift the negative feelings you’ve been carrying inside you.

The decision to feel differently can create a powerful mindset shift. It’s an acknowledgment that you’re not a victim of your feelings and circumstances. You have the choice to turn this day around.

Wild love,

Photograph by Fred Goudon.

I have conflicted feelings about the universe or divine source, or whatever you want to call it. On the one hand, I . But on the other, I’m a staunch believer that life is ultimately the product of your choices and your actions. No more, no less. So anything that preaches just trusting the universe to take care of you, feels a bit too woo-woo for me.

But Tosha Silver blends a belief in divine guidance with a knowledge of the need to step up and do your part to make things happened. The book is peppered with anecdotes and humour, alongside prayers and rituals for becoming more in-tune with the flow of life. It was came as a welcome reminder not hold on so tightly to outcomes and instead to view unexpected twists or “setbacks” as opportunities in disguise. It’s a quick read and since finishing it, I’ve found myself applying this wisdom to release my stranglehold on how I want things to be and instead to enjoy things how they are.

It seems like most of us were pleasantly surprised by what this book had to offer. Here’s what a couple of the other girls had to say:

“My first impression of Outrageous Openness was one of cynicism. A book that’s talking to me about the Divine Source surely won’t have anything concrete and actionable to teach me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The simple act of reading the book was like taking a deep breath and then letting it all out again. A relief. Permission to relax and loosen my shoulders. The words were a comfort to me at a time when I particularly needed them, and I will continue to look back at the book when I want to remind myself that the Universe, Divine Source, or whatever you’d like to call it, has got my back.”
– Rebecca Hunter

“Outrageous Openness was inspiring, a delightful arrangement of wisdom in the form of rehashing tiny stories of relevance. Not being religious myself, but always feeling spiritual, I have often cringed at the thought of people who blindly put all of their hope in God. However, now I’ve come to see that this can be a spiritual practice of attuning yourself with the highest vibrations in the universe and releasing yourself to that higher calling, which is quite different from trusting God out of fear or a crushing thought of a predetermined future. I think tapping into the Divine Source in the way described could prove to be very enlightening!”
– Colette Hanson

Have you read Outrageous Openness? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

And if you’d like to join us our next few books are The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks in March, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts: How to Use the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World by Regena Thomashauer in April, and Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck in May. You can join our discussion on Facebook or meet up with us in person in London!

Love, almond milk lattes, & dog-eared pages,

P.S.  Good news! Jayne and I have extended the early bird price for Liberation and Love until the end of March. Half of the tickets have already sold out, but we’ve heard from many of you that you’re struggling to purchase your ticket before pay day, so we wanted to give you the gift of a little extra time. If you have any questions about the retreat and what’s included, just get in touch. xx

Photograph by Meegan.

Early on, fear became our lifestyle.

The average person has been thinking the same fearful thoughts for so long that we’re unconscious of even thinking of them. Even when things look great from the outside, there’s a feedback loop of worry, hand-wringing, and worst-case-scenarios circling over and over in our minds.

You can commit to self-love and personal development and still find yourself slipping into fearful thinking at the smallest sign of trouble. It bubbles up and suddenly you’ve slipped underneath and it feels like you’re drowning in fear, even though it was your own thinking that allowed that fear to grow. Fearful thoughts are alluring temptresses.

Why?

Maybe because fear gives us a rush. Or because we’re so used to being afraid that that discomfort is actually where we’re most comfortable. Or because fear makes us a victim and seems to demand that we become the centre of attention – even if it’s not in a good way.

Regardless of the reason, it’s easy to get sucked in by fear and once we do, it feels impossible to see past it.

Because giving space to those thoughts feeds the fear gremlins. When we allow our mind to jump from one fearful thought to another, we make them stronger and more powerful.

But we don’t starve the fear gremlins by pretending they’re not there or by positive affirmationing our way over them. We starve our fears by becoming so intimately familiar with them that we can call each gremlin out by name. When we name our fears we can look at them objectively. We can begin to notice evidence that runs contrary to what we’ve been telling ourselves we can interrupt our fearful thoughtful patterns when we notice them emerge.

So get out your journal or a pad of paper and take an inventory of your fears.

When you think of living your ideal life, what hesitations or fears stand in your way? What negative thoughts and limiting beliefs hold you back from fully loving yourself? What unkind words did you internalize as a child? What destructive patterns can you pinpoint in your life? Drill down by looking for the overlap between your fears until you identify your key limiting beliefs.

Start looking for evidence to the contrary. How have you already proven these fears wrong in the past? What more productive, loving beliefs could you replace them with?

Now when one of your gremlins throws one of these fears at you, in whatever guise, you can stop yourself before you get sucked into a downward spiral of negative self-talk and say “That’s just that tired old thought again and today I’m choosing a different one.”

Because they’re your thoughts and this is your life. You get to design it to look and feel however you want. So, choose to stop feeding those fear gremlins.

Loving you fiercely,

Photograph via HandBag.com.

Here it is: we treat the word “brag” like one of the dirty four-letter words.

We’re quick to sing the praises of someone else but when they  talk about that amazing thing they did or bought or had happen to them we think it’s distasteful. That it denigrates their achievement. That they should pipe down and stay in line.

But isn’t it the most natural thing in the world when you’ve dragged your big dream down from the sky, had an amazing stroke of luck, or created something wonderful that you want to shout it from the rooftop?

We’re social creatures and sharing our experiences makes them feel more real. Talking about our happiness and accomplishments affirms them and solidifies them in reality.

So why are we so quick to dismiss ‘bragging’ as a bad thing?

Perhaps we’re not really as happy to celebrate the good fortune of others as we’d like to think. Because it brings up those nagging fears that we aren’t good enough and we start comparing ourselves to what they have and seeing only what we don’t.

So we’ve created a culture where we downplay what’s going well for us or stay silent altogether.

But this is dangerous. Because happiness is power. Because bragging shows others what is possible. Because it helps us feel good.

We need to start wielding that power.

I love that Mama Gena’s sister goddesses make a practice out of bragging. They say “I brag…” and tell each other in no uncertain terms about their incredible achievements and every fabulous thing happening in their lives. And they know that doing so doesn’t threaten the fabulosity of anyone else. It encourages them to unearth their own desires and revel in their own delicious brand of wonderful.

And you should brag about the little things, not just the milestone pay raises, new houses, or holidays. Celebrate taking the time to buy flowers for yourself or get a manicure when you’re really busy. Boast about that delicious meal you made or that new dress that looks so good on you. All of life’s little pleasures are worth bragging about.

So how can we reclaim bragging?

Make a practice out of it. Call your girlfriend every week and list your brags to each other. Get into the habit of sharing your big achievements and the simple pleasures you’ve indulged in. You’ll be cultivating gratitude and encouraging your friend to own her happiness. Win, win, win.

Stop downplaying the good stuff. When you get a compliment, accept it graciously. If someone compliments your outfit, don’t point out some perceived flaw. If you get a thumbs up for scoring great media coverage for your company, don’t pass it off as luck. Just say “Thank you” or even more goddessly, “I know.”

Encourage it. When someone brags to you, express your genuine happiness for them and tell them how happy you are that they told you their good news.

Talk about it. When something wonderful happens, don’t hide it! Wield the power of your happiness. Bringing more happiness into the world is a good thing. So don’t allow fear of other people’s reactions keep you playing small.

So what are your brags today?

I’ll start: I brag that I just got an awesome new haircut. That I am heading off on a whirlwind trip to Paris next week. That this week I’ve been treating my body like a temple with loads of plant-rich meals. And I have one more BIG brag to share with you soon…but for now I’m going to be a big tease, because I need to keep it under my hat for a little while longer.

Come on babes, let’s get our brags on!

xoxo,

Photograph from Death to the Stock Photo.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I wanted to give you a little present.

I know that your heart is wild and your dreams are big, but that sometimes you feel so small. You doubt that your dreams are possible and you’re not sure whether you’ll ever get out of this vicious cycle of self-loathing.

I want you to see the greatness that the rest of the world sees in you.

It’s time to be more than okay. I want you to feel dazzling. I want you to adore your life and treat yourself like the heroine you are.

The life you want is possible and it all starts with learning to adore yourself.

I created Romance Yourself for anyone who is ready to say yes to the greatest relationship of their life: the one with YOU.

This ecourse is a daily practice and choose-your-own-adventure guide to loving yourself. It’s the guiding hand, encouraging voice, and kick in the ass I wish I’d had when I started my self-love journey.

Through this 40-day journey you’ll experience radical shifts as you tear down your fears, bust through your blocks, and create a feeling of love for yourself that radiates through your life.

And through this process you’ll create toolbox of strategies and exercises to deal with any situation, so that you can be your own darling forever and always.

What better day than Valentine’s Day to romance yourself? I want to make this work available to anyone who needs it, so for 24-hours only I’m doing a Pay What You Can Sale. Normally the course costs £23, but you can just let me know what you can afford.

Hop over to the sales page to get all of the details about the program and then send me an email letting me know why you  want to romance yourself and make an offer. Whatever your offer is, as long as it’s received by 11am GMT (6am EST) on 15 February 2015), I’m willing to work with you.

Once I’ve received your email, I’ll send you a PayPal invoice and after it’s been paid, I’ll forward you the course materials and everything you need to get started. Easy peasy!

And if you want to give Romance Yourself is a gift, just mention their name and email with your offer and I’ll make sure the course goes to them.

I’m reserving the right to refuse any offer that doesn’t feel good, but if a fiver is all you can afford right now, that’s a-okay. I want you to have all of the tools to love yourself truly, madly, deeply and I don’t want money to stand in your way. So let’s make it happen!

Loving you always,

Photograph via The Numinous.

This ended up being one of the best decisions I made after moving to London, as it introduced me to an amazing group of women. A few of them quickly became my closest friends in the UK.

The book was a complete gamechanger for me as well. Learning the desire mapping process has transformed how I live my day-to-day life, set goals, and go after the things that I want.

Danielle flips the goal-setting process on its head by starting with how you want to feel and working backwards to figure out what steps you need to take to get there.

When you look at life this way, everything shifts. Achieving some of the big goals you thought were paramount to your happiness no longer make sense because you realize they’ll never help you feel how you want to feel.

And instead of pinning your happiness on some future accomplishment or event, you find ways to weave the feelings you want through all of your daily decisions, big and small.

The book helps you work through the process of honing in on what Danielle calls your “core desired feelings” – the feelings that motivate your decisions, whether you’re conscious of them or not.

We all want to feel good but sometimes we’re pretty mixed up when it comes to what will actually accomplish that. And feeling good means different things for different people.

My core desired feelings are magic, expansion, love, and adventure. I try to keep them in front of me all of the time: on a giant vision board in my room, carved into a candle on my altar, and scrawled on the front page of my Filofax. That way they’re always at the forefront of my mind, shaping my decisions and guiding me to prioritize feeling good rather than pesky “shoulds” that threaten to infringe on my happiness.

It’s the perfect book for January, when we’re all busy making plans and plotting out lives for the coming months, and I know I’ll come back to it year after year.

Here are what some of the other self-love book club babes thought about the book:

“For as long as I can remember I’ve been horrible at keeping goals. After reading The Desire Map I finally realize it’s because I’ve simply been setting goals the wrong way! Through Danielle LaPorte’s guidance I’ve learned to use my desires to create goals with soul. I no longer dread the work involved but rather I feel inspired to work towards my goals.”
- Cole

“As a Mickel Therapist, a treatment for energy disorders which emphasizes the importance of listening to your emotions and tuning into your intuition, The Desire Map’s way of goal setting fully resonated with me. I love her approach of touching base with our bodies & souls, putting our desired feelings at the very centre of every action and life decision. Personally, I really liked the bit about appreciating what’s already working – it noticeably shifted my focus towards more gratitude. Great choice of book for the start of the year!”
- Nikola

“I knew I needed The Desire Map in my life from the moment I first came across Danielle LaPorte. It just made sense to me. I call Danielle my ‘guru in blue jeans’, she’s both deliciously badass yet reassuringly down-to-earth, with the odd f-word thrown in for good measure. The Desire Map is goal setting for the spiritually aware, modern young woman and it’s made a huge difference in my life. Instead of chasing an endless list of things to do, that inevitably all end up feeling pretty meaningless once I get there, The Desire Map has encouraged me to let my heart take the wheel, and my feelings be my guide. Dive in to The Desire Map, for goodness’ sake.” 
– Lauren

Have you read The Desire Map? Be sure to leave a comment sharing your thoughts on the book. I’d love to hear what your core desired feelings and how you’ve been using them to shape your goals and decisions.

This month we’re reading Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. Thanks so much to Nikola for suggesting it. I’d never heard of Tosha before and I’m really looking forward to diving into this one.

Bear hugs and bunny kisses,

The next step forward seems so simple and obvious to you, so what the heck is stopping them?

You know your best friend is capable of all of the dazzling dreams she’s always talking about if she’d only take that next step …whether it’s enrolling in a class, getting her butt off the couch, or properly saving money. Instead it seems like she’s constantly sabotaging herself.

But sometimes the obvious next step isn’t the necessary one.

Because making our dreams come true requires two prerequisites: clarity and self-love.

We need to be really clear on what it is we really want and what it will take to get there.

We need to sit down and ask ourselves, what makes us happy? Where is our genius zone? Why do we want what we want? Are we willing to make the sacrifices it will take to get there? Does our lifestyle support our dreams?

This takes a lot of soul searching and self-awareness and sometimes we need the perspective of a coach, a course, or a wise friend to help us figure it all out.

But we can create all of the action plans, SMART goals, and to-do lists we want. Yet if we don’t fully love ourselves, self-sabotage will remain our raison d’être. Self-loathing will rule our minds and our fears will be in the driver’s seat. Even if we know what we need to do, we’ll find excuses not to go after our dreams.

That’s why I created Romance Yourself. Each day you’ll have a daily practice for falling in love with yourself. But we’ll also get clear on what’s holding you back so that you can start tearing down your fears, get the clarity you’re searching for, and step into the life you’re dreaming of.

When you love yourself, you take real responsibility for your life. You gain the confidence to go after what you want because you truly know that you deserve it.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll never be afraid again. But you’ll chip away at your limiting beliefs so that they no longer shape your reality. Instead you can see fear as a sign that you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone into that place where all of the most amazing things happen. And you’ll cultivate the bravery you need for all of the next steps in front of you.

Facing our fears and loving ourselves is a lifelong journey and no two paths are the same. That’s why Romance Yourself is one part daily action plan and one part choose-your-own-adventure guide.

The program launches officially launches on Sunday, but I’m offering the opportunity to pre-order at a special introductory rate. Normally the course will cost £23, but if you order by midnight EST on Saturday January 10, you can get the whole thing for £17, plus you’ll get access to a private Facebook group with bonus content and a community of amazing babes.

If you’re interested, you can find out all about the course and sign up over here.

Ultimately, any self-love journey begins with learning to trust yourself and taking a leap into the unknown. Find a way to move forward that feels right for you. Maybe that will mean romancing yourself with me and maybe not.

Either way, I encourage you to spend some time today thinking about what’s been holding you back. What limiting beliefs are looping through your mind? What fears come up when you think about living the life you truly want? What can you do today to begin busting through these blocks and start loving yourself?

Maybe it’s enrolling in an ecourse, signing up with a coach, reading a book, or creating a daily practice. Whatever it is, just make sure it feels good for you – even if it scares you. Just take one tiny step forward.

You’ve got this.

Photograph by Krist Papas.

No matter what your big dreams are or what resolutions you’ve set, the key to designing the life you desire is a solid foundation of self-love.

When you’re head over heels for yourself, you walk around wrapped up in love all of the time. You start being your own darling, so instead of relying on other people to make you happy, joy flows freely from inside of you. And pretty soon, contentment and gratitude begin to permeate every area of your life. The world opens up. You start taking real responsibility for your life and things you’d have never thought possible are now within reach.

But I’ve heard time and time again that you’re struggling to get started. You know self-love is important, but how do you make it more than an amorphous concept and start practicing it in your own life?

That’s why I’ve created Romance Yourself: A 40-Day Journey to Self-Love.

This ecourse is built around a daily practice that I know will help you spark a lifelong love affair with YOU or rekindle the romance if you’ve been neglecting yourself a bit lately.

But it’s also a choose-your-own adventure guide to falling in love with yourself and creating the life of your dreams. I designed Romance Yourself to help you build a toolbox of strategies and exercises to deal with any situation, so that you can drop your fears, get clear on what you really want, and attract everything you desire.

The cost of the course includes:

• A love letter from me, introducing you to the course and sharing my thoughts on self-love.
• An outline of the daily practice, tips for incorporating the exercises into your routine, suggestions for personalizing your self-love practice, and additional resources.
• An MP3 morning pep talk to set the tone for the day, tune into a feeling of gratitude, and have you hopping out of bed with a bounce in your step.
• A video of a guided kundalini meditation for creating self-love.
• Daily e-mails throughout the course with lessons on various aspects of self-love and a journaling prompt to help you crystallize your own thoughts and figure out how this all relates to you.
• An MP3 deep relaxation for reflecting on your day and going to sleep in a calm, loving state of mind.

The daily practice has been divided into bite-sized chunks so that you can easily fit them into your day and you’ll get lots of guidance from me for getting the most out of the course. Like I said in Friday’s post, we are what we do consistently. By going on this journey you’ll start changing the way you think, create new habits, and make loving yourself your new reality.

Romance Yourself doesn’t officially launch until Sunday January 11. But I want to do give you the opportunity to pre-order at a special introductory rate.

Normally the course will cost £23, but if you order by midnight EST on Saturday January 10, you can get the whole thing for £17.

Plus, anyone who signs up at this early bird price will gain access to a private Facebook group. I’ll be posting some bonus content and we’ll all go through the course together, sharing inspiration, responses to the exercises, and you’ll have the opportunity to ask me any questions you’d like. That means you’ll have a whole group of accountability partners romancing themselves along with you.

If you sign up at the pre-order price you’ll receive your course materials and first email on Sunday January 10. Otherwise, they’ll be available as an instant download and you’ll start receiving the e-mails right away.

I can’t wait to take this journey with you. When I decided to love myself, my whole world changed. My life started opening up. I started taking risks and making my dreams a reality. I’m a happier person these days. And when life gets difficult, I have the tools to turn things around.

You’re a dazzling human being who is capable of great things and you deserve to feel like it. The life you dream of is within reach and it all starts by romancing yourself. Let me show you how.

Love always,

In order to offer this digital product at an affordable price, I must make it a non-refundable purchase except where required by law. So please understand that by investing in yourself and purchasing Romance Yourself, your purchase is final.

It’s true that we’re shaped by the things we do consistently. All of the good things – meditation, healthy eating, creative work, exercise – take regular practice to have an impact.

But creating a routine we’ll stick with can feel impossible. And it’s easy to get bogged down by the sheer number of things we think we should be doing and throw up our hands in defeat before even getting started.

Many of the women at the retreat spoke about their desire to let go of regimented routines and instead to decide what they need on a day by day basis.

Some of us expressed the need to stick with a regular daily practice because otherwise there are important things that would slip through the cracks and we’d never end up doing them.

I think that creating a daily practice that’s realistic and nourishes every part of us is important, as long as we allow for a certain amount of fluidity and check in with ourselves regularly to honour how we’re feeling and take care of what we need on that particular day.

With the new year in front of us, I’ve been inspired to revisit and refresh my own routines and rituals, so today I’m offering some tips for sticking with your daily practice and infusing your schedule with practical magic.

Decide on the Pillars of Your Practice
I loved reading Choose Yourself and while James Altucher’s daily practice is more extreme than feels good for me, I modelled my own on the same pillars he discusses. In addition to the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical components Altucher discussed, I’ve incorporated consistent action towards my big dream (self-employment, financial freedom, & location independence) into my daily practice.

Create Bite-Sized Rituals
Once you’ve decided on the pillars that your daily practice will be based on, spend some time brainstorming all of the ways that you could nourish those parts of your life.

But recognize that you can’t do everything, so narrow your list down to the things that will have the biggest impact through regular practice. I also took my core desired feelings into account, to make sure that I was creating a daily practice that would bring me into better alignment with how I want to feel.

I suggest choosing things that can be completed in 10 minutes or less, so that you’ll be able to work them in each and everyday no matter what else is going on. For example, running around the block might be part of your daily practice and you can schedule longer runs into your week as time allows. The key here is figuring out what you can do consistently.

Carve Out Time
Be realistic about how much time you have and where each part of your practice will fit into your day. Can you get up half an hour earlier or are you just not a morning person? What about giving up an hour of TV in the evening? Or finding some quiet time for reflection over your lunch break? Work all of this out in the planning phase so that your daily practice fits into your life and becomes routine.

Experiment and Edit Your Practice
Some things will work for you and become habits for life. Other times you might feel like your daily practice has become stagnant or, after months of trying, you just don’t get what all the hype over meditation is about. Allow yourself to revisit your practice regularly. Experiment with new things you’ve heard about. Let go of things that aren’t enhancing your life. A daily practice can be fluid and should evolve as we do.

Practice Kindness Towards Yourself
It’s inevitable that our routines will get disrupted. We’ll miss our meditation practice, skip a workout, or go an entire day without eating our vegetables. It’s important to get back on track but no good ever comes from beating yourself up. When life gets in the way and you miss your daily practice, be kind to yourself. Gently remind yourself why the practice is important to you and resolve to get back to it tomorrow. And then let it go, without the the guilt.

After going through this process, here’s what my daily practice for 2015 looks like right now…

Everyday I’ll nourish my spirit by meditating and giving thanks for the good things in my life.

Everyday I’ll nourish my body with warm lemon water, green smoothies, 10 minutes of stretching, and dancing wildly to at least one song (that last one actually fits into all of these categories).

Everyday I’ll nourish my mind by exercising my idea muscle and reading for at least 10 minutes.

Everyday I’ll nourish my emotions by connecting with the people I love and honouring my feelings by expressing them in the pages of my journal.

Everyday I’ll nourish my big dream by spending at least 10 minutes working on a digital product for this website.

I look forward to experimenting with other forms of rituals and self-care, but for now I’ll be using this daily practice to take care of myself, attract my desires, and create the feelings I want.

Do you have a daily practice or do you prefer a more fluid approach to self-care? I’d love to hear!

Love, shooting stars, & tinkling charm bracelets,

Photographs by Julia Pogodina.

During the summer, we developed a habit of meeting in London Fields, sitting on our favourite park bench, and drink a bottle of organic red wine or two while discussing our dreams, fears, love, cheesy pop music, and everything in between.

Often our conversations turned to how much we wanted to work together. We had a lot of ideas we were excited about, but we weren’t exactly sure how to make it happen or whether any of it would work out. Our fears were holding us back.

As the weather got colder, we traded in red wine on the park bench for prosecco on Jayne’s balcony and wild dance parties in her front room. It was on one of these Saturday nights near the end of October that we decided to just go for it and plan a retreat day. We looked up when the full moon in December was and sent off an email to reserve a venue.

Tickets for our urban retreat went live the next Friday and we sold 18 in the first day. By the time the day came around, we were completely sold out.

There are few better feelings than taking the leap, bringing one of your dreams to life, and then watching it take of with wild success. And it all happened because we said yes to creating the work that lights our hearts up. And then 40 women said, “Yes! This is exactly what we need.”

It was a beautiful thing to experience.

On 6 December everyone was greeted with a hug and given a beautifully designed notebook from Nikki Strange for scribbling notes throughout the day. Before getting started we all had a chance to get to know each other while snacking on fresh fruit, nuts, and delicious snacks from Rude Health, and sipping water infused with grapefruit and rosemary and a selection of herbal teas from Teapigs.

After our introductions, we began with a modified despacho ritual where we helped everyone get clear on what they wanted to celebrate from the past year and crystallise what they were ready to release. We combined everyone’s pieces of paper in our despacho package, which we ceremonially burned a week later in London Fields.

Then it was time to move out of our heads and into our bodies as Jayne led everyone through a Qoya session to dance with our shadow side before shaking it off and dancing in celebration of ourselves.

The rest of the day was filled with deep conversations, laughter, new friendships, delicious food, meditation, deep relaxation, powerful insights, and chocolate. Always chocolate.

It was amazing to watch how quickly and openly the women were connecting with one another – quickly and freely sharing laughter, tears, and hugs. As I stood at the back of the room during one of the Qoya sessions and watched as everyone moved their bodies so wildly, I was on the verge of tears myself as I became overwhelmed with the radiance of everyone in the room.

I was so thrilled to hear that the women who came found the experience just as powerful as I did. Jerry described the event as “life changing” and Emily said, “The day was neither tiring nor boring: everyone left with a perfect union of replenished energy and a sense of calm. I loved being a part of such an interesting group of women all coming together to just enjoy, nurture themselves and heal.”

We were also so lucky to have some truly amazing brands support the retreat and each woman was sent home with a unique gift bag to help them bring the lessons they’d learned into their day-to-day lives. Thank you so much to Napiers, Alli Woods Frederick, Veronica Dearly, Crown & Glory, Rachel Gale, Galaxy Rox Jewellery, and Pretty Utopian for providing these goodies.

If you didn’t have a chance to attend the retreat, think about how you can set aside some time to reflect on the past year. Celebrate where you are, get clear on what you want to let go of, and then set your mind to what you want to attract into your life.

In 2015 I’ll be releasing some new ways for us to work together, both in person and online. But for now, I highly recommend checking out Jayne’s new offering She is the Moon. It’s a year-long subscription that costs only £48. On every full moon and every new moon in 2015 you’ll receive a guided meditation, a ritual to connect in with the moon’s phase, a movement practice, and exclusive invitations to gatherings + group rituals. It’s going to be seriously badass!

What about you? I’d love to know how you’ll be creating your intentions for the new year and what you’re dreaming of in 2015!

Love, salted caramel chocolate, and wild love,

Top photograph by Rebecca Campbell, all the rest by Katherine Rothman.